Living with Anxiety
Anxiety is a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.
Feeling anxious is a normal emotion. Feeling anxious all the time about normal events and situations is not normal and considered a disorder.
My feelings of anxiety really started when I went to college. First off, I cried basically every day for the first two months. I had a horrible roommate who was out partying all night and slept all day. She went to class maybe twice a week. Eventually she got suspended. In my second semester I moved in with a girl I graduated high school with so that was much more comforting. She helped me meet new friends. I was so insecure and introverted that I was not going to just start talking to folks and make friends! I definitely wish I was more out spoken and not so insecure at that time in my life but that is how I had always been. Always worrying what others thought of me and making sure I was always pleasing everyone.
My anxiety lived in my stomach. I did not know this until years after I started college. While at UW-Stevens Point, I had stomach aches and the nurse on campus just kept telling me to eat more fiber. It didn't work; it made it worse. I just dealt with it and kept rolling along.
September of 2007 , something rather traumatic happened that really made me feel differently. I was always a "people pleaser" and never wanted people to be mad at me. After this incident it got worse and I always worried about what people thought of me. I got nervous to do anything. I was watching my back all the time.
I had my first panic attack in 2009 while working 40 hours a week, going to college full time and planning my wedding. It is an out of body experience which is really hard to explain to someone who hasn't lived through it before. I felt groggy, tired, and completely not myself. I was down for a week and started seeing a behavioral therapist to figure out the best plan moving forward. I think this gave me more anxiety because they asked if my insurance covered mental health and I was like what?! Now I am labeled. I was embarrassed and ashamed. I always thought that people who turned to medication for things like this were just silly and not trying hard enough. Once this happened to me I definitely had a different mindset and was willing to do whatever I needed to be "normal" again. Medication helped. Took a few tries to get the right type. I held my anxiety in my stomach and would get a sick to my stomach feeling. People hold their anxiety different and there are different types of medication depending on what will work best for that person. I am actually taking an antidepressant.
I decided in February of 2012 that I was feeling really good and didn't want to be on medication anymore so I weaned myself off. Five months later I had an even worse panic attack after going off so back on it was. I just told myself at that point, well looks like I will be on this the rest of my life.
After deciding to focus 2019 on myself and my lifestyle and managing stress, I am ready to go off my anxiety medication. I know when I will be in situations to cause me to be anxious and I know what I need to do to calm myself. Everyone has their own way and they need to find that. I just need to take deep breaths, step away from what I am doing, and refocus. Music is also an outlet for me to help me de-stress. My anxiety really stemmed from stress and removing that stress has helped me tremendously. I feel more confident in who I am and am more in tune to myself and my body.
Here is an article I found that really explains anxiety well:
My anxiety lived in my stomach. I did not know this until years after I started college. While at UW-Stevens Point, I had stomach aches and the nurse on campus just kept telling me to eat more fiber. It didn't work; it made it worse. I just dealt with it and kept rolling along.
September of 2007 , something rather traumatic happened that really made me feel differently. I was always a "people pleaser" and never wanted people to be mad at me. After this incident it got worse and I always worried about what people thought of me. I got nervous to do anything. I was watching my back all the time.
I had my first panic attack in 2009 while working 40 hours a week, going to college full time and planning my wedding. It is an out of body experience which is really hard to explain to someone who hasn't lived through it before. I felt groggy, tired, and completely not myself. I was down for a week and started seeing a behavioral therapist to figure out the best plan moving forward. I think this gave me more anxiety because they asked if my insurance covered mental health and I was like what?! Now I am labeled. I was embarrassed and ashamed. I always thought that people who turned to medication for things like this were just silly and not trying hard enough. Once this happened to me I definitely had a different mindset and was willing to do whatever I needed to be "normal" again. Medication helped. Took a few tries to get the right type. I held my anxiety in my stomach and would get a sick to my stomach feeling. People hold their anxiety different and there are different types of medication depending on what will work best for that person. I am actually taking an antidepressant.
I decided in February of 2012 that I was feeling really good and didn't want to be on medication anymore so I weaned myself off. Five months later I had an even worse panic attack after going off so back on it was. I just told myself at that point, well looks like I will be on this the rest of my life.
After deciding to focus 2019 on myself and my lifestyle and managing stress, I am ready to go off my anxiety medication. I know when I will be in situations to cause me to be anxious and I know what I need to do to calm myself. Everyone has their own way and they need to find that. I just need to take deep breaths, step away from what I am doing, and refocus. Music is also an outlet for me to help me de-stress. My anxiety really stemmed from stress and removing that stress has helped me tremendously. I feel more confident in who I am and am more in tune to myself and my body.
Here is an article I found that really explains anxiety well:
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