How My Miscarriage Changed My Life

October 27, 2019 - woke up in a hotel in Marquette, MI after a fun evening celebrating the marriage of two friends and watching my (at the time) two month old niece, went to the bathroom and knew exactly what was happening. I was supposed to go in for my first 10 week doctor appointment in two weeks. We had already told friends, family and the girls were super excited! 

After five to six years of trying on and off, why was it so hard to get pregnant after having zero issues with the first two? Why now was I having a miscarriage when I already was struggling to just get pregnant? Why me? These were the questions running through my head for weeks. Well, I know now. God works in mysterious ways and this major speed bump in life really grounded me and changed me for the good. 

After struggling for about a month and mentally recovering, my awesome friend, Tracy, said some things that just clicked. I was telling her how shocked I was when the doctor told me that there are just as many, if not more, miscarriages as births each year. Say what?! I couldn't believe it. Tracy, being the nutritional junkie she is and having a crazy wealth of knowledge, put lots into perspective for me about my lifestyle. What kinds of cleaners was I using in my house, what was I eating and feeding my family, how were my stress levels, was I taking care of myself?? I wasn't doing a very good job in any of those areas. I was naïve and just assumed that if it is in the stores, it must be good for me...boy was I wrong. In January of 2020, Tracy held a class through PACE to teach others about all of these harmful "things" in our lives that we need to be more aware of to live a healthier lifestyle - I was very excited to be in the class and learn more. I immediately started making changes in my life and household. End of February, beginning of March, Tracy and I come up with a crazy idea to start a podcast - Tracy has the bulk of the knowledge and I wanted to make changes. It was the perfect duo. So we went for it. End of March 2020 we launched our first episode, right as the world was shutting down because of Covid. I would have been about 6 months pregnant at the time if I hadn't miscarried. I would have done none of this if I hadn't miscarried. 

Also in March of 2020, Bay Tek, my employer, shut down. We went from booming to nothing within 24 hours due to Covid. I was out of a job, hopefully, temporarily. Thankfully, it was only for three weeks and I was called back to work. With a very small group of us back at work, playing multiple roles to try and keep Bay Tek alive, we were all busting some serious butt. There is no way I would have been able to keep my job and have a baby in June of 2020 if I wouldn't have miscarried. I wouldn't be in the role I am in now and loving it. 

The podcast, information I was learning, and changes I was making helped mold me into who I am today. Year 2020 was a crazy stressful year for everyone for all sorts of reasons but I was able to significantly reduce my stress by making lifestyle changes and changing my outlook on life and situations that were thrown at me. The podcast and other journey's throughout 2020 changed me and my lifestyle. I slowed down, did more for me, put stress (for the most part) behind me and changed my eating habits. 

I would not be sitting here, 31 weeks pregnant typing this reflection if I hadn’t miscarried. I wouldn’t have been able to share being pregnant at the same time as my sister and two sister-in-laws. I wouldn't have made all the lifestyle changes I did to help myself and my family. I wouldn't have been able to make 2020 a pretty kickass year if it weren't for my miscarriage. 

Everything happens for a reason. You need to find the positive and push throw. Don't blame others and find a solution yourself. Don't wait to make changes - there will never be a "right time" - Just go for it!

Until next time. 

~Trying to Live the American Dream