The Decision
Wrote in the morning on 3/19/20:
January 2020 rolled around and no luck getting pregnant again. I got my period and I cried. I was a failure. My body wasn't working right. I got pregnant with Ali and Andi within two weeks of going off the pill. Why is this so difficult now? Am I too old? Is there a reason I am not supposed to have another? What is God trying to tell me?
Adam and I are both planners and don't really enjoy the uncertainty. We wanted to plan our family vacation and other fun getaways. Not knowing if or when I would get pregnant was becoming more of a burden rather than something to look forward to. I was just down and sad. Adam and I talked it out a couple times and finally decided that it just isn't meant to be. We have tried three times over the last four years and now with the miscarriage I just isn't going to happen.
We decided to focus on the two beautiful girls we have now and devote our hearts to them and each other. Two months later and I am happy with our decision. I still get a twinge in my heart every time I see a pregnant mother or an infant. It is hard knowing that it won't happen, but knowing that I am going to do all I can to love my two girls with my whole heart, reassures me that we made the right decision. I also have beautiful nieces and a nephew to love on!
Turn the clocks to 3:30pm on 3/19/20 and our worlds have been turned kinda upside down. Adam had been trying to prepare me all week and he just knew that with the industry we work in and the world we are living in currently we were going to be out of a job soon. Well that happened. Then we think back and all that has happened the last few months and everything really has happened for a reason and will continue to. We always get through it.
~until next time~
AmyA
January 2020 rolled around and no luck getting pregnant again. I got my period and I cried. I was a failure. My body wasn't working right. I got pregnant with Ali and Andi within two weeks of going off the pill. Why is this so difficult now? Am I too old? Is there a reason I am not supposed to have another? What is God trying to tell me?
Adam and I are both planners and don't really enjoy the uncertainty. We wanted to plan our family vacation and other fun getaways. Not knowing if or when I would get pregnant was becoming more of a burden rather than something to look forward to. I was just down and sad. Adam and I talked it out a couple times and finally decided that it just isn't meant to be. We have tried three times over the last four years and now with the miscarriage I just isn't going to happen.
We decided to focus on the two beautiful girls we have now and devote our hearts to them and each other. Two months later and I am happy with our decision. I still get a twinge in my heart every time I see a pregnant mother or an infant. It is hard knowing that it won't happen, but knowing that I am going to do all I can to love my two girls with my whole heart, reassures me that we made the right decision. I also have beautiful nieces and a nephew to love on!
Turn the clocks to 3:30pm on 3/19/20 and our worlds have been turned kinda upside down. Adam had been trying to prepare me all week and he just knew that with the industry we work in and the world we are living in currently we were going to be out of a job soon. Well that happened. Then we think back and all that has happened the last few months and everything really has happened for a reason and will continue to. We always get through it.
~until next time~
AmyA
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